So out of it | whoslife's Blog
I'm kind of out of control nowadays.
In constant anxiety, teary and irrational. Of no reason at all. Acting out of dimensions. The next day I wonder what the hell I was doing or thinking.
And the shame. Over everything, every mistake, every damage I've ever done. Feeling like such a failure. I know we all are like that, imperfect, but the difference is I can't stand it. I don't know how you live with yourselves.
I should just suppress it, witness the suffering and let it happen. Not fight the cruelty, just pass by like everyone else.
It's not mine to decide what is a worthy existence, pain is also life. Like I learned from the sociopath.
So I placed the dying bird in a soft place in the bushes and left it to die in peace.
Cried all the way home.
My mood: extremely ashamed
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Previous PostsI will never accept, posted August 28th, 2013
So out of it, posted February 24th, 2013
Promises, promises, posted February 12th, 2013
Another classic, posted January 11th, 2013
Turning into someone else and back, posted January 6th, 2013
Another Skull in my Necklace, posted December 21st, 2012
Possessed, posted December 4th, 2012
I don't listen to the warnings, posted October 20th, 2012
Struck down, posted September 21st, 2012
Why Do I Even Bother..., posted August 31st, 2012
I Should Have Known Then, posted July 22nd, 2012
Always Near When You Need it the Most, posted July 18th, 2012
the woods, posted May 31st, 2012
my options, posted March 6th, 2012
Like flies falling down, posted February 26th, 2012
the wall II - chronicles of a breakdown, posted February 18th, 2012
Cold, posted January 15th, 2012
Giveth and taketh, posted January 3rd, 2012
smug, posted December 9th, 2011
androgynous?, posted December 2nd, 2011
the wall, posted November 8th, 2011
proxy, posted November 6th, 2011
ED and me, posted October 19th, 2011
a meeting, posted October 7th, 2011, 1 comment
our demons, posted September 27th, 2011
more than...this, posted September 17th, 2011
there are guys and there are GUYS..., posted August 21st, 2011
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to the well-meaning jerk, posted June 26th, 2011
I have become such an impossible b..., posted June 9th, 2011
what, posted September 6th, 2009, 1 comment
just love the mood update feature, posted May 20th, 2009
one of those days, posted May 17th, 2009, 2 comments
it's supposed to help?, posted May 7th, 2009
nostalgia, posted May 6th, 2009
burden, posted April 14th, 2009, 1 comment
I'm impossible, posted March 25th, 2009, 2 comments
why go alone?, posted March 14th, 2009
it's been a while, posted March 8th, 2009
falling down again..., posted October 4th, 2008
a misunderstanding, posted September 25th, 2008
now I've got nobody.., posted September 21st, 2008
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